ah stress, gotta love it

well, so tomorrow we have a socials test that i haven’t been too diligently studying for…woops.  ok so maybe i forgot about that…anyways, so pretty much right now i have to go and start laundry then STUDY!!!!!!!

we love them…

lol, well, today i am actually in a really good mood.  however, i am extremely tired.  it’s super bizzare.  tonight i am to record, so i’m gonna be dead tired tomorrow.  i have a feeling that craig doesn’t actually want me in mixed chorus, or to record.  oh well, nothing i can do about it, except quit.  but i really don’t want to quit, it’s so much fun and the group is getting closer to each other…oh well, i’ll just get over it.  i can’t wait to go skating!!!! it’s gonna be so much fun!  i really hope that not many decide to go…it’s way more fun to go when it’s a smaller group.  i can’t wait to get off campus…i really need that time away. anyways, i’m gonna go find something to do…

coming together

well, life is getting sorted out.  i’m really de-stressed now.  it’s so ice!  lool, i’m really bad at typibng right now. anyways, so pretty much i have the afternoon off!  i’m really really happy cause now i can do all my studying and laundry and stuff before the weekend.  this weekend is gonna be super insane!  this is really bugging me.  i just was whacking my bestie on her leg cause i was gonna tell her something important…than two seconds later, literally, i forgot wahat i was gonn tell her!  anwyays, im gonna go figure this thing out…lol, oh and today people really liked my yellow shoes…except mr.rass…lol, so tomorrow i’m gonna wear flats!!!! lol, luv y’all!

friends

well, today i did one of the hardest things i’ve ever had to do.  i’m so glad i did it though.  this morning i actually had my devotions…it was really good.  i asked God to take over my heart, and i gave it up.  i also was convicted about a few other things…so it was really nice to talk to some people and get them to keep me accountable.  today i’m not gonna eat.  i feel quite fat, so we’re gonna go on a little crash diet…lol, should be exciting! anyways, i’m so glad i got to talk to craig…i still need to chat with him about work, but that can wait for a while.  i got to talk to mommy last night…it’s so nice, she makes me totally unstressed and is so wonderful.  i’m so glad i can talk to her and get great advice and not have to worry about even the slightest chance of me getting in trouble…lol.  gotta run, second bell just rang.

-_-

-_-

well, life is pretty fun! school was really boring this morning…but when is it not? and work is gettign to be repetitious…i work cafe now and am on clean-up so i’ll be working cafe steadily for the near forseeable future. i’m really happy about that. and i talked to craig last night so now i have a huge load of stress off my shoulders. i just need to talk to my parents, caus ethe seniors are gonna be going to my city sometime this month and i’d like to go with them. thing is, they’re staying overnight and my family offered to let some people stay at our house. but, my mom is gonna be gone so my parents would feel better having guys stay in our house. however if i wanna go home…presents an interesting picture. anyways, i’m pretty excited about life. it’s incredibly boring, yet that’s kinda nice at times.

…

…

lol, well, right now i’m really bored. but i’m not going to get stressed today. even though i’m still not scheduled for music, i’ll just be ok with not doing my job. i still need to talk to craig, but that can wait. i’m so glad i got to talk to mommy. she did wonders for my attitude. but then, mothers are just amazing anyways. i did clean up last night and it was so nice. the other girl and i got done at 7:45 and usually it takes people til after 8. so i’m really happy. and the people in town came back and i got the stuff i needed. so pretty much i need some water. but i am really looking forward to sabbath and getting to just hang out with ewa. i’m gonna be in her apartment like, all weekend if i can, it’s just so nice talking to her.

so we smile

well, we smile and pretend things are all right…i guess mostly things are. i got to talk to my mommy last night and we had a VERY good talk. i now get things and am understanding what to do about certain situations. others i’m still lost on. i just wish that if people want to tell me something they’d come up and tell me. and not get someone else to do their talking. and i wish i could get away. i’m SO tired of being stuck in this place. i need to get to a city and have a coffee. have a great day!

yet another day

well, today was special. not sure how but i’m sure it was. so pretty much life is just being normal. there’s nothing exciting happening. i am superbly bored. i wish i could talk to my sister…but alas, she’s in class. and many miles away. oh well, i’ve come to the conclusion that i am going to take lessons from my old teacher next semester. i just need the break away from the campus…otherwise i feel like i’m suffocating and getting my insides squashed. but anyways, i’m gonna have to talk to my parents about that one. i get to work cafe again today, music work is piling up i’m sure and i’m not so sure that i’m capable of handling a full time job when i can’t work in that department. but we’ll see.

well now

so life pretty much sucks right about now. i’m feeling slightly depressed and yet i’m not at all. i just don’t feel like smiling or anything and i don’t know why. anyways, i’m gonna go read and maybe talk to my dean…

after the fact

so, week of prayer is over…last night after the meeting i cried.  i felt so bad for decisions i’ve made in the past, and how they have totally screwed up my life and others as well.  those choices have seriously made it so hard for me to give everything to God, cause i don’t know if i can trust Him to take care of things and work all my issues out.  but i’m gonna have to work on trusting not only God but people as well.  i’m just so scared of getting hurt again.  i don’t want to open myself up to anyone, lest they use that info against me.  anyways, i have so much to do today, i’m not gonna go down for lunch.  it’s a good thing ewa is feeding all us juniors lunch at her apartment, but even then i’m gonna have to work on homework during lunch.  i have to finish my essay and then study for a chem test tomorrow…it was so nice, yesterday i got to talk to cassie!  and two good friends got to talk to as well, finally.  lol, she was telling me that one of them was concerned about me.  apparently i’ve been acting slightly depressed and not having a positive outlook on life.  i’m glad that someone actually noticed, another person did too, and was talking to me yesterday, which started my crying…then last night i had a nice visit with people and was told something really funny.  this person said i had control over the guys here…lol what a joke.  none of them listen to me no matter what i say. i ask them not leave their stuff lying around and they consistently do it!  frustrating, but life.  i also had some forbidden beverages…it made me happy.  and this morning i finished off what kandy and i made last night.  it started my day off right.  but i better go now and work on the essay…